He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
