My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wish i was in the wii world.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize