How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize