So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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