i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't deserve a penis
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
