I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
