He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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