So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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