For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
