When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
