He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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