who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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