i would punch a child for taco bell
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize