whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
