he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
