yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
