She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
