is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
