HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Randomize
