my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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