i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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