my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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