so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize