I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
