Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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