if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I just found puke in my bra..
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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