Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
