Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
