I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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