I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
