sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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