Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
