I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
