yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I came so hard my ears popped.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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