You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
