You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She announced her abortion via fbk
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Randomize
