It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
did you just send me my own nude
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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