I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
