I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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