some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
