We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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