I am spending my child support on dildos
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
