When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
