he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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