i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We need to feng shui this bitch.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
