ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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