So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
