Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
