Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
