It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
