I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize