This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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