I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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