Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
