The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize