I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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