there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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