Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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