Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
