i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
