i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
