Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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