In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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