I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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