I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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