I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
