guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
