There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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