but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
