I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
