I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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