stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
