he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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