sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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