The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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